Well, one of those nights we all dread - arrive at the venue and get that sinking feeling, everything looks wrong!
Not very busy and the people that are there look all wrong for this type of show (about 20 or so middle aged, middle classed people who looked like they would have been there even if there was no entertainment on!).
Set up, doing my sound check and one particular group being very noisy and full of themselves and their 'perceived' own importance.
Also whilst setting up the manageress tells me they are having problems with the electrics and the lights and power in the building is going up and down at will.
Due to start at 8.30, manageress asks to hold till 8.45 in the hope more people will arrive then gets put back to 9.00 then 9.30.
Finally get to start the show and start getting mild heckling and attempted one-upmanship from the ringleader of the earlier boisterous group, but nothing that a couple of put-downs on mic did not stop quickly!
ask for volunteers and really struggle, eventually get a few, but included is the local village idiot who is so drunk that standing is as challenging as any sort of susceptibility test. I manage to get one lady into a very mild trance, but nothing you would want to attempt a show with!
Ask for a second set of volunteers, get three more, but before I can even start one runs off scared! leaving two!
Things finally start to improve, I get one under!!!
Although I hate doing a show with one person (unlike Chris James, It does not bother him at all!) I am now determined that I am going to make this work!
Everything is going fine, she is working really well, the audience is loving it then low and behold head prat from earlier turns up at the side of the stage and tells me that is his daughter and he wants the show stopped NOW!
Well, to take a positive out of it, I wasn't enjoying it much anyway and it got me an early night!
Now you would probably think that was the end of the tale, but oh no! there is still one final twist. I am getting changed and about to pack the gear away when they tell me there is a burning smell and the fire brigade have been called - I pack in a hurry!
I am just getting the gear loaded as 2 fire crews arrive with full lights, sirens and breathing apparatus, I depart and leave them all to it wondering if the venue is going to go up in flames and if anyone will really miss it if it does?
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